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The thing is… I don’t feel anything right now.
I’m not happy but I’m not sad.
I’m not angry nor am I hurt.
I don’t know how to answer when someone asks “How are you?”
Because I’m fine.
I feel disconnected from this beautiful world.
I don’t want to die,
but I can’t find the point of living anymore.
trying to explain my thoughts (via modifyy)
If you marry me you need to know I might stay up till 3am because my thoughts will wander through my mind. I might be in bed with opened eyes and a drum beating within my chest. There might be nights my heart bangs so loudly you wouldn’t be able to sleep.

If you marry me you need to know there are going to be mornings I am going to wake up with a bruise mind and purple thoughts. My lips would be sealed together and words wouldn’t exit my mouth. There are going to be days when my quietness can scare you.

If you marry me you need to know there are going to be days when my soul changes colors, and you wouldn’t recognize me because the one you met is lost in darkness.

If you marry me you need to know there are going to be days my words will shake and my lungs will break. There will be days you’ll become my time capsule and I might fill your mind with all my thoughts and you might feel like there’s a bomb ticking inside your head.

If you marry me you need to know there are going to be days I am going to love too much, and the thing is I am so so so scared because if you marry me I don’t want our love to drown in the seven seas, I don’t want to construct a family and have the builders destroy it. I don’t want to watch the kids suffer and feel emptiness obstruct them from happiness…………because that’s what happened to me.

Alexa Evangelista

well this really hit me hard // love the honesty. (via godmoves)

(Source: vodkakilledtheteens)

I’m sorry
Nothing about me is easy to love
Especially with the walls I’ve enclosed myself in.
You promised you’d never hurt me,
And while I believe every bit of it,
Everyone who has ever hurt me
Promised me the same thing.
I don’t know how to trust people,
And I don’t know how to stop this
Intense urge to run.

I’m sorry
That I can’t seem to remember that you love me
Unless I hear you say it.
It’s not an easy thing to remember
When I can’t find a single thing I love about me
Even after nineteen goddamn years.

I’m sorry
Hating myself is as easy to me as breathing
Especially in this godforsaken town,
Where I’m receding back into old habits
And turning into the version of myself
I loathed enough to try to kill it completely,
And I don’t think there’s a thing I can do to stop it.

I’m sorry
All I can do is whisper apologies instead of fixing a thing.
Self destruction has always been one of my finer skills.

I’m sorry

Late Night Apologies // -STG (inksplatteredpages)
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